Doing away with parodies.

Anyoung from Seoul!

I am relishing in corners of this beautiful city solo and spent my last moments of this 'lap' around the Sun surrounded by beautiful strangers. At dinner in Gwangjang Market, I was approached by a man - an American citizen who's lived in S.K. for 15 years.  We had a wonderful conversation about the country's culture and lamented on how a huge cornerstone of relationships here in Korea, is the deep respect younger generations have for elders. He was curious what my views were about aging as a woman who's experienced both Eastern and Western cultures, and now lives in the States. I can't tell you how nourished I feel right now, it was truly food for my thoughts and a serendipitous gift from the universe.

On the way back, I remembered this quote from Simone de Beauvoir:

"It is old age, rather than death, that is to be contrasted with life. Old age is life's parody, whereas death transforms life into a destiny: in a way it preserves it by giving it the absolute dimension. Death does away with time.

There is a phantom that is out there, a belief, that with old age we are lessened and diminished in contrast to life- which is epitomized in youth. In this sense, less can be a worse nightmare than that of death (more metaphorically of course). But, we spend our life fearing this other- a supposedly weathered, deficient and inferior version of our former 'able' selves. As if looking in the mirror, we don't want to be reminded that we are inching our way closer to this DMYY.0 that we dreaded all along. However, as myopic as humans can be to the definitions of ability, when we've seen the exceptions to the supposed invented rules time and time again, we still judge ourselves and each other by this warped metric. So I ask, what if we greeted this stranger, whom we feared all along, with respect for breaking all the promises we made on their behalf in 'younger' days - promises to stick some ideal narrative. What if we commended this person for carving a story that didn't pop up on a ouija board. What if we smashed down all the walls and clichés we confined them to stick to inward and outward. What if we looked at this stranger in the mirror as friend, an ally- who is undoubtedly more equipped to carry life within and experience it so much more ably than we ever imagined. This multi-faceted animal who learned to evolve and shake the hands of time and still remain standing. A beautiful being whose thoughts, actions, movements and feelings have surpassed our fixed images and turned them into cinematic moving pictures. A creation that has touched on and spans genres, languages, cultures and colours.....

The truth is I often forget my age and I have to pause to recount others' ages as well. This is simultaneously hilarious and odd to my family and friends. My sense of time is pretty damn warped but I am aware now that it's likely because I was usually the youngest person in the room, and much of my experiences are anachronisms. And, I suspect they will continue to be. But even then, seldom does age measure or guarantee a person's character in my eyes. So this other is rarely something I fear or give much attention to, but one I try to say hello to in wonderment and admiration just as I do at any 'stage' of life. And why wouldn't I, if she's earned it?!

I am learning to tap 'her' on the shoulder for some advice. I am learning to listen to her gut more and explore all the meaning that her life stands for and continues to- far beyond the value she confined herself to when she could only see what she knew. Her and I continue to stand in more than one place watching the Sun. That's why finishing a year/trip/lap on this bound clock has a different vision and weight. It can't be measured in hours, minutes or seconds. There isn't a metric for a full life, especially not when the cadence of every one of those increments of time isn't equal but so deserving of it's own place. 

Cheers to strength, agility and depth; to breaking down static definitions and gimmicks; to seeing this vessel grow deeper, richer, brighter and darker (you know, so you can see the stars can shine at night ;) ). 

Cebu, here I come!